An addiction to knowledge...
An as-need-to-know-basis, constantly...
How strange, to be addicted to something so abstract...
That as soon as you're deprived of it, it takes up all the space in your head...
Not like caffeine, that you can't function without, it occupies your every thought...
Can lead to something similar to a nervous break-down...
And where do you go from there? How do you wean yourself off the addiction so suddenly?
This addiction, that until it was grabbed from under your feet, served you so well? Helped you foresee and prevent mishaps from happening in the future?
It's hard to think of this weaning process as something necessary to learn about life since the addiction helped me get through life. It helped me manoeuver through the labyrinth of life, and now, as if to see how well I'd manage without it, that tool was taken away. I'm helpless in the middle of labyrinth, with no technology to navigate my way, just basic human instincts, raw materials....

Next Year

Ok, law school, at least at Bar Ilan, is out. Didn't get in. Don't anyone waste emotions on thoughts like "oy! i'm so sorry!", it was pretty much expected, I thought I'd give it a shot anyway.
My options now are veterinary assistant school, therapeutic riding course at wingate, both at the same time, look into a college and see if i have the grades to get into law school there. I'm just happy i have an answer, these past few months have been agonising not knowing. Even though i knew the odds were clearly and heavily not in my favour.