Three-Ring Circus/Three's...company?
I have a problem:
I know of three who are...interested in me in various degrees. I devote time and phone calls to each of them and I thank God every day that they are in my life.
The problem is this: am I cheating on them by talking to one on the phone, then meeting up with another, and plan on meeting with the third later in the week?
I haven't committed to any of them nor them to me. But if one found out about the others, would they be hurt? Would they drop me suddenly?
If the tables were turned and I was one of three girls for one guy, and I found out, I would be disappointed that there was competition, but not surprised. I would hope that I would be the chosen one but not push myself forward too much, trying to get ahead of the others.
But it's a completely different story this way. I don't want to hurt any of them.
Since there's no committment on either side, and it hasn't progressed very far with any of them, it's not really cheating...right?
I know of three who are...interested in me in various degrees. I devote time and phone calls to each of them and I thank God every day that they are in my life.
The problem is this: am I cheating on them by talking to one on the phone, then meeting up with another, and plan on meeting with the third later in the week?
I haven't committed to any of them nor them to me. But if one found out about the others, would they be hurt? Would they drop me suddenly?
If the tables were turned and I was one of three girls for one guy, and I found out, I would be disappointed that there was competition, but not surprised. I would hope that I would be the chosen one but not push myself forward too much, trying to get ahead of the others.
But it's a completely different story this way. I don't want to hurt any of them.
Since there's no committment on either side, and it hasn't progressed very far with any of them, it's not really cheating...right?
posted by AMUS1 | 12:52 AM
3 Comments:
Okay. I'm not experienced in these matters, but I'm going to pretend to be.
Try not to take this the wrong way, but you haven't exactly had the choicest relationships, resulting in your being happy to be in one at all. This changes your point of view from that of any of the guys you're "dating", and they may be very hurt to find out you were three-timing if any of them take it more seriously than you do.
You gotta make a choice. Eliyahu, I gotta say, having fun should be done a little bit at a time, not all at once. Jelly, you know who you want to be with most. He who makes you laugh, he who understands you ... just choose. Don't juggle, it's too risky.
juggling and risking are good things. why live life 'carefully' and fearfully. take the risks and pay the consequences (they are usually harsh). We learn the most about ourselves at the extremes and to live epically is one way of paying back this bankrupt existence. Then again you don't want to hurt other people. No you're not cheating. And it's assumed that you see more than one person. But if you detect that one of them is sensitive or investing in the relationship more than casually then be honest about the fact that you see other people. Don't stop seeing them just make them aware that you're not in a position right now to put all your emotional eggs in one basket. The more the merrier that's my motto. but even if you don't live like that there's nothing wrong with pursuing various options as long as you can be honest about it...
we need a new slogan: No Shame (you know...like no fear...)
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