What's Wrong With Me?
Actually, nothing. Not a goddamn thing. I'm a completely normal person. In fact, if I were listening to someone else ask why they're screwed and the ways in which they are, I could very well convince them why they aren't screwed up, and all those so-called reasons are just normal things in life that a person goes through.
And yet, I still think there might be something wrong. But that's usually the case. I always think something's wrong, or even hope it, so that when the "test results" come out with the proof, I will have my 15 min. of fame (it always comes back to the attention thing, doesn't it?).
Do I know nothing is wrong with me? Yes.
Do I wish something were wrong so I could get attention? Maybe.
Do I wish something were wrong so I could have proof of it, proof that I need fixing? Yes.
I'm so sick of the desperate feeling that I'm so comfortable with. Which, again, is really just another word for attention-seeking.
Anyway, the title of this blog begs an answer. Many answers. SO DON'T ANYONE HOLD BACK!
(I once tried a self-help list. It was pretty short)
And yet, I still think there might be something wrong. But that's usually the case. I always think something's wrong, or even hope it, so that when the "test results" come out with the proof, I will have my 15 min. of fame (it always comes back to the attention thing, doesn't it?).
Do I know nothing is wrong with me? Yes.
Do I wish something were wrong so I could get attention? Maybe.
Do I wish something were wrong so I could have proof of it, proof that I need fixing? Yes.
I'm so sick of the desperate feeling that I'm so comfortable with. Which, again, is really just another word for attention-seeking.
Anyway, the title of this blog begs an answer. Many answers. SO DON'T ANYONE HOLD BACK!
(I once tried a self-help list. It was pretty short)
posted by AMUS1 | 12:07 AM
3 Comments:
u gotta let go of things easier. u can't care about everything that happens 2 u; u gotta know when 2 let certain things slide
i feel you. there are certain authors that i read who have felt similar desperation to mine and validate and affirm what i'm going thru...
a man should be judged by the extent of his failures not his successes. 'ein omdin al divrei torah ela im ken nichshal bahem' (masechet Gittin 60a)... your desperation is a mark of distinction. It means you are awakening from the sleepwalking of the quotidian...
Post a Comment
<< Home