Overcoming the Hurdle

Awhile back, I had to stop therapy in the middle, because it was getting too expensive.
So I started writing in my diary almost daily, sometimes a few times a day.
I felt my spiritual strength, and emunah, growing.
I was able to tell myself, "I don't need him" "I don't need this or that to make myself happy" "I'm just fine on my own" and after awhile, really be able to believe it.
I realised one day, pretty recently, that I am now self-sufficient, self-pleasing, and (hopefully) not clingy anymore. I became a self-satisfying person.
This may seem a bit weird, but it was where I was lacking (as all of you well know), and it's a huge achievement for me. It's a wonderful feeling to know that I can do it for myself. Obviously it still needs fine-tuning, and lonely feelings still attack me, but I can handle it now, I know how to deal, emotionally, I am really a big girl now. I will always need people's love, that will never leave, or grow out of me, but if there's a light at the end of the tunnel of loneliness, a time to look forward to when I know I'll receive that love in abundance, I can now hold on until then. I can make myself happy, and then be overjoyed unbelievably happy when I reach the end of my tunnel.